I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, but I NEED A MENTAL BREAK! God, I’m not complaining. I promise I’m not. I have a pretty good life, and I’m very grateful…but somewhere along the way, I became disconnected with my source of energy. My light does not feel like it’s shinning. My heart feels like it could explode. My mind has been so cluttered. Physically, I’ve been drained. My anxiety has been in overdrive. I just need a break to focus on what matters most…my walk with Christ!
I have been making it, but barely. I’ve been running from my emotions and now I’m really tired of running. I just want to sit down somewhere and get myself together. I want to relax. I want to reconnect with the people that mean the most to me, and I need to refocus on what it is I really should be doing.
Life can be tricky. It can happen so fast to where you can look up and not know how you got to where you are in the first place. You ask yourself HOW, but can’t put your finger on the real reason. You ask yourself WHAT are you doing, and again you struggle to find an answer. This is where I am. I’m stuck in a place that is not safe for me. For me, this is mental torture which can spiral out of control! We can be our worse enemy…cliché, right? But it’s true. And I’m telling myself take a TIMEOUT!
When I get like this, I know it’s critical for me to RESET, RECONNECT, and REFOCUS. In my life, this is a whole thing! I go through this process less now that I have identified my key triggers, but it is still how I cope and manage my anxiety. It always creep up on me when there has been a disconnection of POWER.
I’m very guilty of not taking care of myself. To be honest, I forgot how. My life has been consumed by several little humans and a big one for 5 years now…I just looked up and I’m here. I have been so lost in the many hats I wear that I believe I’ve let those titles define me. But I’m not happy with that. I’m more than just a mother, a wife, a young professional, a woman of God…I feel like somehow, I should be able to tie all of these different aspects into ONE. This has been my journey for some time, but I feel like the clock is ticking and I need to figure this out. I need to do better. I need to walk in my purpose. Until I find that, I’ll never be happy. Look, here I go…mind racing. That’s a whole ‘nother story.
So, I’m taking a break. My husband and I are going to Chicago for a couple of days, and I am going to take full advantage of this time to RESET, RECONNECT, and REFOCUS. There’s no better person to getaway with other than Minister Beard himself. Please pray that we have safe travels, our kids are not reprogrammed in 3 days, and we return ready to take on the world (and my inner self)!