I recently shared my decision to stop taking my anxiety medication. It started off being a goal of mine for 2019, and it was something that I was going to work hard at and accomplish over the year. It became one of my goals for the new year because I knew God placed it on my heart to end my medicine dependency. The work God has placed before me needed to be credited to him, and not my 20mg of generic Lexapro.
I got to tell y’all something about God! I think God has a sense of humor. Every time I say I don’t want to do something he is like yeah whatever go do it! I really believe that saying “if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans.” I’m sure God has had many laughs with my antics. So it came as no surprise when God said, “no ma’am! Stop taking your medicine now.” Needless to say, I ended up stopping cold turkey. It has now been over a month since my last dose.
**Let me make it very clear! I am not advising you to stop taking your medicine without consulting your doctor. I am just sharing my experience.
The first week or so, I noticed little to no symptoms. Everything seemed fine and life was good. However, as I approached week two, the side effects started to appear. I experienced headaches, trouble focusing, feeling overwhelmed with things to do and overwhelmed with my emotions, and mostly frustrated because I couldn’t pinpoint what thing was causing me to feel the way I did. I just woke up one morning feeling heavy with anxiety. This discouraged me for a second, but with God’s help, I was able to overcome the devil and his lies! I wrote about this day in my post here.
The point of this blog is to first say Thank You, Lord! Thank you for keeping me through it all. Thank you for never turning your back on me. Thank you for the people you have sent my way to give me great advice and encouragement. Thank you for showing me that nothing is too big for you! Thank you for showing me the error in my ways! God, I thank you!! I may not ever be able to say that anxiety is not a problem for me, but I can always say that with God I am and will be victorious!!
Secondly, I want to encourage anybody that struggle with anxiety and depression! I know hard it is to have to fight yourself every single day. I know how bad you just want peace. I know how much it hurt to be misunderstood. You don’t need the people you think you do to be better and get better. I will be happy to put you in touch with a great doctor, a loyal friend, a comforter, a way maker, and the list goes on. It sounds cliche, but I wouldn’t tell you any lies! It’s more than just praying and giving to him at the altar. It’s a complete lifestyle change. Ask me how, and I’m happy to share with you!
I can truly say, I trusted God through this one. That’s not something I can usually say. I’d usually say I planned that just right or something giving myself the credit. But this time I trusted my Savior. When those withdrawal symptoms started to set in, it made me ask God if I heard him correctly. I was like God you want me to go through this?! Then I remembered Jeremiah 29:11-13:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
With those words, I can rest. I have peace, and I am okay!